


absolutely smitten

by Repeating_Simple_Phrases



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: !!connor is trying to get better :')), Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Awkward Crush, Fluff, Happy Ending, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Inspired by Music, M/M, Pining, Songfic, Swearing, Yikes, absolutely smitten by dodie, bls be patient and kind i am an illiterate babey, inaccurate depiction of school, rich goranski cameo, self-projecting hour is n o w
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-03-09 09:04:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18913813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Repeating_Simple_Phrases/pseuds/Repeating_Simple_Phrases
Summary: i'm absolutely smitten,i'll never let you gotreebros song fic inspired by "absolutely smitten" by dodie





	1. and it's too late

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all here's my second (2nd) treebros fanfic, as well as my second fanfic that i'm actually posting. it's also my first chaptered fic so yahoo babey!!  
> 
> it's a lot (a  l o t) longer than i had intended this to be for a song fic, so apologies in advance. 
> 
> happy end of may/early june ♡

   The blonde shifted through the crowded school corridor, his shoulders almost caving into himself.  It was only the second day of senior year, but those first two days felt like eternity to the student. He kept his head down low, only staring slightly above the ground to prevent completely walking into people.

   It worked, for the most part, until his shoulder had bumped into the face of a sophomore-looking girl. He sputtered apologies, but the girl seemed too lost in her head to realize the collision. The small girl continued her concerningly fast pace, leaving Evan standing in the middle of the hall. 

   "Hey! Watch it, Tall-ass!" 

   A rough voice drew away his attention form the sophomore and to the commotion ahead of him. His eyes landed on two students: one obviously shorter with a distracting red streak in his cropped hair, and the other, clothed in varient shades of blacks and greys, who stood roughly seven inches taller. 

   A Tall-ass indeed.

   Evan watched as the taller student stomped loudly on the ground as he clenched his fists, appearing to mutter some swear under his breath  before trying to regain his cool and not explode. The shorter of the two, now visibly startled by the sudden noise, took one step back before masking his fearful expression with a cocky one. 

   "Too shy to say anything, Murphy?" Rich asked, putting on an obvious brave front as he retreated down the hall with his posse of popular kids and delinquents.

   Connor remained standing there with his head to the ground and his fists still clenched. It was obvious that he was trying to settle himself with deep breaths; something that Evan was more than used to. 

   The rest of the students that had crowded them dispersed almost immediately after Rich had sauntered away, leaving the senior to himself. 

   Only a moment later, Connor picked up his head and sighed, harshly gripping the olive green straps of his messenger bag as he slowly began to continue his walk down the hall. 

   It almost surprised Evan that Connor controlled his anger and didn't snap at the junior who had provoked him. The blonde smiled as he looked back at Connor, who was currently walking in his direction.

_she knows this feeling all too well,  
she feels her heart begin to swell_

   Evan couldn't help but to stare at the enigma walking towards him. His usual messy mane of hair was nicely brushed, although since his hair had natural curls, it remained full of volume. He wondered what it would feel like if he'd run his finger through those large curls.

   Evan was no stranger to those thoughts. It was like every time he saw Connor, every little detail had been put in high definition for him to see, and leaving him with another odd desire. 

   Before he had realized it, Connor was just about to pass him, though his face was coated in irritation. 

   Panic filled Evan's senses as he realized that the brunette notices his unintentional stare.

   "What're you staring at?" The tall boy asked, almost in a gruff voice. His glare was only the cherry on top of his angry sundae. 

   Before Evan had the chance to speak (and not stutter like he had been), Connor marched away, ducking his head as if that'd accelerate his pace through the long hallway.

_handsome stranger,  
you have made her insides turn to jelly_

   It didn't help that Evan had an attraction to the pretty boy. It also didn't help that Evan was one-hundred percent sure that the said boy was annoyed with him.

   A soft sigh escaped the boy's lips as he walked down the clearing halls. He followed the directions to the Environmental Club that he had ingrained in his head, half hoping that there would finally be more members before the school found out about their lack of.

   The Environmental Club was one of, if not, the smallest school club on campus. Evan had joined in his freshman year by impulse after realizing his passion for restoring nature to the best of his abilities. It only took four months for their attendance to drop to a consistent four people attending as often as they met. 

   The blonde found himself at the door of the club room, huffing as he reached towards to the dulled doorknob, wincing at the small chime of bells from the doorframe. It had been there since his sophomore year and he never got used to it. 

   The empty room didn't surprise Evan. He was used to being alone in the room, but that didn't necessarily disappoint him. It let him spend an extra hour or two to work on his homework in peace, or to read some of the books if he wanted. Although he didn't mind the emptiness, there were moments where he wanted another person in there with him as company. 

   Evan removed and set down his backpack in the back corner of the room, trying to be as gentle as he could with his casted arm. Soon after, he sat at the long, foldout table, drawing out his maths book from his backpack and shoving it onto the table with little effort. Flipping to the page that they had covered earlier, Evan's tired eyes wandered over the page.

   It only took around seven minutes for his attention to be ripped from his homework to the memory of Connor's hair, giving him a few butterflies in his stomach as he wondered how it felt. 

   His thoughts jumped from one to another, from the idea of his laugh, to what his soft lips might feel on Evan's chapped ones. The blonde quickly stood from his chair, feeling the heat rush to his ears. 

   Damn his intrusive thoughts.

   Damn Connor Murphy for making him think of unrealistic situations.

_she wants to dance around the room,  
kiss you until your lips turn blue,_

   It wasn't like Evan really had a crush, right? It was an infatuation over a boy who was definitely the prettiest he had ever seen in person. And of course it'd be normal to fantasize kissing an attractive person, especially for one so obviously touch-starved himself.

  The blonde ran his right hand down his face, releasing a gentle huff and he glimpsed down at his phone, turning on the screen to reveal his nature themed screensaver and the time and date. It was only the second day, so it wasn't really surprise that the rest of the club hadn't shown face.

   It seemed like a club ritual that Evan had caught onto in junior year, that they'd intentionally not show up for the first week of school during the new year. It never made sense to him, seeing as they could actually get things done and activities planned and discussed during that single week, but he never questioned them. 

   Evan turned off the phone screen after staring at the time, watching a minute completely pass. As his screen turned black, he saw the darkened reflection of himself, and if he were being honest, he didn't think he looked half bad. The baby fat on his face that had never really gone away was somewhat endearing, as his mother would always say. The scattered mix of acne and freckles weren't as ugly as it could have been, so he took that as a win. 

   He wasn't bad looking, by any means. He just wasn't good.

_but handsome stranger,  
you have made her wonder... is she pretty?_

   It was roughly an hour after school had ended, and an hour that Evan had secluded himself in the small club room. The sounds of doors opening from the neighboring room was a little reminder that he should really gather his things and leave, and so he did.

   Evan shuffled out of the room and closed it softly behind him, flinching at the obnoxiously odd sounding chimes from the door. He grimaced at the sound as he continued his trek to the exits of the school. 

   Thankfully, despite the generous amount of clubs the school had, there weren't very many people still on campus. He noted that the large room for jazz band was located right across the hall.

   Making his way down the hall, he stayed closer to the lockers, uncomfortable with being in the middle of the hall and feeling so vulnerable despite the lack of students present. He made it a few yards further before a voice called out to him. 

   "Hey, uh, Hansen." Connor's voice rang from the end of the hall. He quickened his pace to catch up with the blonde, though it was barely noticeable since his legs were long enough to surpass him easily.

   Evan looked up at the taller boy, wide eyed at the sudden confrontation. Ideas rushed through his head, fantasizing the worst possible (and impossible) outcomes from this single conversation. 

   "Yes, that's-that's me," The blonde stuttered, forcing a smile as he watched Connor awkwardly shuffle in front of him. "W-What are you here for? _Oh my God that sounds so rude_ \- I'm so sorry," He rushed, feeling the sense of panic once again. A few more words here and there gushed out of his mouth before the taller teen cut him off.

   "Hey, it's fine," Connor's voice rose, startling Evan and causing him to peep out a silent "sorry".  Slightly on edge, Connor sighed before speaking again, this time, notably calmer. "It wasn't rude, so don't worry about it." The shorter teen only nodded in response. 

   "A-Alright, but if you don't mind me asking, why did you call me over?" Evan's words flooded out of his mouth, as he anxiously gripped his backpack strap with his uncasted hand. Connor paused for a moment before responding.

   "Sorry about earlier." The brunette spoke, gently scratching his clothed arm. "I, um, I shouldn't've said anything. You didn't do anything, so that was out of place for me to do." He sounded awfully awkward, and it sounded recited as if he had practiced it earlier. 

   "No, it-it's alright!" Evan replied, rushed and an octave higher. 

   There was a dull, pregnant silence between the two of them, as Connor hadn't responded and remained standing there in front of him. The taller boy finally broke the silence.

   "So, uh, how did you break your arm?" He asked, shuffling in place, causing the floor to squeak silently below him. 

   "Oh, I- um- I fell out of a tree, actually." The blonde answered, eyes shifting from Connor's shoes to his cast, then quickly back to his shoes. 

   "You fell out of a tree?" Connor asked. Evan softly nodded his head in confirmation, but stopping as he heard laughter escape from the brunette's soft lips. "That's just the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard - _oh my God_." His laughter grew louder, almost alarming the shorter boy. 

   Evan found Connor's laugh to be rather nice, considering that he hadn't heard a genuine one in so long. Evan peeped a small "I know," in response, forcing a small laugh of his own as he mainly focused on the other's. 

   It appeared that Connor had caught himself in the moment, ceasing his laugh and feeling his cheeks heat ever-so-slightly. 

   "Sorry, that was rude of me to laugh at," He rushed uncharacteristically, "So, um, no one's- uh- signed your cast." Connor stated, changing the subject and internally wiping away a stray bead of sweat.

   "Um, yeah, I know."

   "I'll sign it." Connor took a step forward, startling the shorter senior. 

   "Oh, um, you don't have to." Evan's voice spoke softly, letting go of the backpack strap to wipe his hand on his khaki pants . 

   "No, I'll-I'll do it. I'll sign it." The brunette sounded very firm in his answer, like nothing could persuade him to do otherwise. "Do you have a Sharpie?" The blonde quickly nodded his head, patting his front and back pockets of his pants and visibly starting to worry about not physically having the pen right beside him.

   Evan removed his backpack as quick as he could, and rushed to open the front pocket, pulling out the first Sharpie his fingers wrapped around. The shorter of the two nervously handed the green colored pen to the other. 

   Connor took another step closer after taking the Sharpie, removing the cap and holding it between his teeth. He, unintentionally, roughly pulled Evan's arm, causing the boy to yelp in pain. 

   Connor murmured a silent "Fuck, sorry," after hearing the other's reaction, then began to write his name.

   Evan watched as Connor took his time with each letter, making then as even and straight as he physically could. It was almost endearing to see the intense focus on his face with his tongue poking out.

_and it's too late,  
she believes in fate,_

   His eyebrows furrowed, causing the corner of Evan's mouth to perk up into crooked smile. Finally, Connor had finished, his first name evenly distributed across the outer half of his cast. Evan didn't really mind, since there was no one else who would sign it.

   "Oh, uh, thanks," Evan spoke up after noticing Connor waiting for some form of response. The smaller boy smiled softly, glancing down at his cast before looking back up at the darkly dressed teen. 

   "Don't mention it," He replied smoothly, blanking out for a short second before handing the capped Sharpie back to the blonde. "This is yours." He mumbled, awkwardly, yet firmly, handing Evan the thick pen.

   "Right," Evan nodded once, taking the pen and swiftly shoving it in his unnecessarily large front pocket. "Uh, thank you. Sorry," 

   "Why are you sorry?" Connor asked, almost sounding rough and offended. 

   Evan noticed the quick change of attitude. His heart nearly dropped. 

   "I-I mean, because I said thank you twice and it was really only necessary the first time, and by saying it twice I probably annoyed you by being to repetitive- I'm sorry I must be boring you," The blonde managed to cut himself short as he noticed Connor's raised brow and minuscule smile. "Sorry,"

   "Stop apologizing, Hansen." He spoke with a clear voice, gathering all of Evan's anxiety-ridden attention. 

   "R-Right." Evan nodded, fumbling with the pen in his pocket as his eyes unintentionally drifted to Connor's thick locks of curly brown hair. "Um, thanks for signing my cast." He murmured.

   "No problem," Connor smiled softly, though it was more of a half-smile than anything else. "See you, Evan," He continued, slowly backing up a few steps before turning around and heading in the direction of the jazz band room. 

   The blonde senior remained standing in place before realizing the reality of what had just happened.

   Not only did Connor Murphy, the darn boy that he had been making heart eyes for the past hour, sign his cast. No, he made himself look like an absolute fool in front of him too. 

   So much for him actually trying to get on a stable level of acquaintanceship with the pretty boy. By now, he's probably weirded him out enough for him to not want to even walk past him.

   Evan sighed, zipping his backpack shut and worming his arms through the thick straps. He turned on the balls of his feet and continued to walk in the direction of the front exits. 

   The student gently cradled his cast in his other arm, glancing down at the large name written on it with green ink. 

   Maybe this year wouldn't be so awful after all. Considering that Connor had gone out of his way to apologize, then to sign his blank cast, Evan was filled with a bit of hope that his last year of high school might not be so horrible as he had anticipated.  

   Perhaps he could find a way to get to talk to Connor again.

   A small grin grew on his face while the tempo in his step increased. 

 

_she's absolutely smitten,  
and she'll never let you go_


	2. he believes in fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skfjdkfj most of this was written when i had posted the first chapter, so yahoo babey ;)) 
> 
> also i'm not too fond of how this chapter came out, but i also didn't have the heart to delete and rewrite sections so sorry for this "longer" chapter.
> 
> with that out of the way, i hope you enjoy!!  
> ♡♡

   Walking through the noisy school hall, Evan gently caressed his cast as he shuffled in the direction of his locker. His backpack weighed heavy on his shoulders, almost slowing his pace in the halls. 

   It was nearly lunch, and Evan had planned on dumping his school books and grabbing his lunch that his mom had packed the night before. 

   "Hey, Hansen." Connor strode towards the blonde, the left corner of his lip upturned. Evan smiled in acknowledgment as he came to a stop in front of his locker. 

   It had been nearly five weeks since Connor had signed his cast, and nearly two weeks since Evan had realized his hopeless, not-platonic crush on his only proper friend. Thankfully, Connor hadn't caught on to his mindless staring, especially when the brunette said anything remotely snarky or clever to Jared. Perhaps the whole deal with Connor's smart comments and retorts were more of a stare of admiration than anything else. Hopefully. 

   The two had consistently been talking to each other whenever they had the opportunity to, or when they were in a decent headspace to prevent saying- or doing- anything they may regret. Connor had clearly stated that around a week into the new school year, wanting to give Evan a reason for his standoffish behavior for when he couldn't. 

   "Our regular spot?" The brunette asked, shoving his hands into the ratty pockets of his well-worn, well-loved hoodie that was visibly thinning. His pointer fingernail poked out of one of the holes. Evan nodded silently as he unlocked his locker, swiftly unzipping his backpack and pulling out the textbooks and shoving them into the empty sections of his unorganized space. 

   "Five weeks here and you've managed to make your locker look like a rats' nest." Connor chuckled, watching as Evan's cheeks turned a soft hue a pink. The blonde pursed his lips and he reached into the top section of the personal closet, grabbing the metal lunchbox that laid on its side. 

   "I'm just bad at keeping things tidy, and-and it's been over a month anyway." He mumbled, holding the tin on his casted arm while the other, currently holding the backpack, tried to close the locker. 

   "I'll get that," The taller of the two spoke, closing the locker with a bit more pressure than necessary. Evan peeped a small "thank you" as he slid his bag on properly.  The blonde held the lunchbox close to his chest, almost covering the entire design on the front aside from little spurt of color between his arms and fingers. 

   "I'll get a head start and pick up the usual?" Connor asked, though it sounded more like a statement. Evan nodded with a small smile, barely exposing his dimples. 

   With that confirmation, Connor turned around and took off into the direction of the school cafeteria, making good use of his long legs and taking larger steps to get through the crowd. Evan released a silent sigh as he held the metal lunchbox close to his chest. 

   He could feel his heart beat loudly in his chest as he watched the mop of curly brown hair get lost within the crowd. 

   He hated this feeling.

   Well, he wanted to hate it.

_that girl just there yes she's the one,  
with cupid's arrow in her bum_

   With that unwanted feeling still lingering in his chest (as if it hadn't left already), Evan turned on his heel and began his trek to the outskirts of the school campus.

   He and Connor, after the course of a week or so, began to eat lunch together in a quiet, secluded area of the school. It was by pure coincidence that they had found eachother; Evan had wanted to escape from the loud and crowded cafeteria, and Connor had his usual spot to smoke. 

   After an unspoken settlement to eat lunch together, Connor had slowly began to stop smoking as much while Evan was in close perimeters, seeing how his nose reacted to the potent smell. 

   After using his body to push open the double-doored exit, the blonde speed walked to their usual spot. It still amazed him how little amount of people decided to eat outside of the cafeteria and in the lush, grassy patches of the school. 

   With a little beat in his step, the senior rushed his way to the large oak tree, smiling as he saw it unoccupied. Evan took his time and set down the metal lunchbox and removed his backpack. He opened his bag and retrieved a fairly long, thin towel and set it down on the bed of healthy grass at the base of the tree. 

   The boy planted himself on the far right side of the towel; his usual spot, since Connor had always picked the left side to sit down, claiming that it was the most comfortable. 

   Evan crossed his legs as he let his fingers mindlessly dance in the slightly overgrown patches of grass, letting his mind wander as well. He almost didn't notice Connor walking in his direction.  

   His head shot up to the brunette when he was only a few yards away, watching him stride towards him with the corner of his mouth turned upward. His hand was gripped firmly around the handle of a bright green, biodegradable woven bag. 

   " 'Got the stuff." Connor spoke up, placing the bag down beside Evan before sitting beside him. 

   "When you say it like that, it sounds like you brought me drugs." Evan chuckled, eyes closing and the corners wrinkling slightly. 

   "Who's to say that I didn't actually bring drugs?" Connor snarkily replied, shoving his hand in his pocket and roughly tossing out his electronic cigarette onto the towel and pulling his knees to his chest.  

   Evan's nose wrinkled at the sight of the electronic device; one, because it was so carelessly thrown out of the way; and two, because it was still a nicotine-filled killer in the end. He knew that Connor was trying to ease off of his regular Marlboros, but it still pained him to see the boy use something still so potentially dangerous. 

   "So you _did_ bring me drugs?" Evan broke the short silence, averting his eyes from the device and to the bright bag in front of him. He carefully brought it into his lap and removed the two small milk cartons and the two plastic fruit cups with way too much liquid compared to the amount of fruit.  

   "Remind me to pack fruits instead of you buying these," The blonde huffed silently, seeing out of his peripheral vision Connor pick the vape pen from the ground and shoved into his pocket. The taller teen nodded without a sound, watching as the casted teen folded up the green bag in front of him. 

   "Tell me again why you hate those fruit cups so much." Connor asked, visibly fiddling with electric device in his pocket. He watched as Evan's posture straightened and as he took a deep breath. 

   Maybe it was a little mean of him, but he enjoyed seeing Evan getting riled up over things that he was overly passionate about. Whether it be from deforestation or plastic straws, Evan always had more than enough to say. 

    "Okay, well, first of all, they're one-use plastics, which are ultimately causing a huge affect on our ocean and ocean life. I mean, even if the cups _are_ recyclable like how they promote and advertise it to be, most of them go straight to the landfill anyway. Aside from the whole 'one-use plastic' thing, the amount of 'natural fruit juice' that they put in here is really just ripping off the buyers. The 'natural fruit juice' is just sugared up syrup that completely coats the fruit in unnecessary and unhealthy sugars."

   Connor chuckled as he watched the blonde continue his passion-fueled tangent about the fruit cups, wrinkles forming at the corners of his eyes from an uncharacteristic smile. 

   "And-And despite it being consumed on a daily by kids, it's not a proper serving of fruit for their diet and-and- um, you're laughing."

   Evan slowed down his words to a gradual stop, feeling the blood rush to his ears and making them feel warm. 

   "Yeah, sorry about that, I'm still kind of a dick," Connor sighed with a sad smile that complimented his face so, so well. "But I like hearing you talk about shit you're passionate about."  

   "I- um- thanks," Evan pursed his lips together for a moment. "That, uh, th-that's really nice of you to say."

   "Well, I mean, it's true, so," Connor shrugged as he glanced towards the lunchbox, feeling his stomach gurgle although he didn't feel hungry. 

   Evan sat there for the couple seconds after Connor had spoken, acknowledging that his neck and ears were very warm from the blood obviously circulating around that area. He averted his eyes that were staring so intently at the brunette. 

   "Food would be great right now." The taller of the duo stated, breaking the silence. The blonde nearly flinched from the sudden statement, quickly nodding his head as he began to noisily pry open the metal box. 

   "R-Right!" Evan blurted out, haphazardly removing the contents and setting them on the towel. 

   "Is that Pokémon?" Connor asked with a underlying laugh, tilting his head the slightest bit, catching the bold reds, yellows, and blues on the metal front. Evan slapped his casted hand across the lid, startling himself with the loud sound. 

   "N-No..?" He answered, though it sounded more like a question than anything. Carefully, covering as much as he could with one hand, he rushed to fish out the rest of the Tupperware containers from the box. He huffed, closing the lid and looking at the brunette with a defeated smile. 

   "My mom- she, uh, she took the one that I normally bring by accident, I think, and-and this was the only other one we had that I could find. It's from elementary school and I never got rid of it because it was a gift from my grandma on my dad's side and I never really got to know her as well as I wanted to so I kept it as a reminder of her, kind of. She, um, passed away in like, fifth grade and, yeah, sorry that was _way_ too personal and you definitely didn't want to hear all of that. Sorry." 

   Evan stared at Connor, apprehensive as he waited for some sort of verbal or physical response. 

   "You're kind of a dork, y'know?"

   "What?" 

   "The lunchbox? It's cute and dorky, and it matches you." 

   Evan cursed in his head, hoping that Connor wasn't trying to embarrass him even furthur today. 

   "P-Please, that type of praise is too much," Evan joked, trying to ignore what Connor had just said. 

   A short chuckle escaped the brunette's lips. 

   "Right, because you definitely didn't have a Pokémon phase growing up?" The taller senior retorted with no heat in his voice, breaking out into a grin by the end of his question.

   "I didn't, actually," Evan snickered, toying with the loose threads of the towel they sat upon. "I was more of a Animal Crossing kid, to be honest." 

   Connor scoffed with an obvious grin plastered across his face. His goofy expression had a hint of dramatized betrayal and shock. 

   "Of course you were an Animal Crossing kid." He said as if it were something so blatantly obvious. "Pokémon was my shit." He stated with his large smile shrinking to a smaller, more natural one. 

   "Was? O-Or still is?" The blonde snickered, hiding his grin and dimpled face with his hand.

_handsome stranger you have made her happy,  
the first in a long time!_

   Times like these were Evan's favorites. Despite him generally going off on long, unnecessary tangents, their conversations normally took a positive turn and let them have something casual to talk about.

   Finally after a few little arguments about the Pokémon franchise, which Evan had little knowledge of, the two boys settled down to eat, only then realizing how much time they spent talking. 

   "You know, I'm really proud of you," The blonde stated uncharacteristically out of the blue, almost startling Connor who was drinking the sugary syrup of the plastic fruit cup. 

   "Sorry, what?" He asked, his words slurred as his mouth was full. He quickly swallowed the liquid and licked his lips before returning his focus to the shorter boy beside him. He watched as Evan picked at the edges of his cast. 

   "I-I'm proud of you." Evan answered, glancing at the darkly dressed boy. 

   "Why?" Connor's brows furrowed in both confusion and doubt. 

   The blonde provided a soft shrug with a crooked half-smile

   "You- uh- you've stop smoking as much." Evan's words poured out of his mouth, sounding somewhat more like a question than an answer. He watched as Connor slouched against the tree, obviously not believing a single word he said. 

   "Yeah, but I vape, and that's still shit for my lungs" The brunette retorted with a huff in his voice. Evan winced at his words. 

   "But you've stopped with the cigarettes and I think that's a big accomplishment." He rushed, pursing his lips for a second before speaking again. "Just... let me be proud of you, okay? It's-It's a big deal to me that you're trying to get better, and I just wanted you to know." 

   Evan subconsciously began scratching the inner side of his forearm before Connor quickly swatted his hand away before the eczema covered skin began to bleed. He mumbled a quick sorry. 

   "Thanks," Connor murmured, his fingers toying with the empty plastic cup on his side. His foot quickly tapped at the ground making a silent, but slightly annoying sound. "I know this is a douche move, since you literally just told me that you're proud of me and shit, but do you mind if I take a hit?" The brunette asked, the electronic device out of his pocket and into his hand. 

   The shorter of the duo visibly faltered at the sight of that as he released a gentle sigh. He knew Connor was trying, and that's what mattered most. 

   "G-Go ahead." Evan nodded as to confirm his answer. He watched as Connor pressed the power button and waited a moment before holding down the fire button and putting his lips on the mouthpiece, breathing in the gaseous, fruity flavor. 

   There was a flash of panic in the brunette's eyes in sudden realization that he was sitting right beside the blonde who hated the lingering smell from people's cigarette smoke, both electronic and classic. With the flavored smoke filling his lungs, he quickly shoved his head into the neck hole of his hoodie and exhaling the cloud of strawberry into his garment. 

   Watching the little traces of smoke trail out of the neck hole and bottom of the hoodie made Evan snicker, pinching his nose. Connor pulled down the hoodie, scrunching his face in displeasure from his impulsive decision. A minuscule grin gradually replaced his grimace as he saw Evan's snicker grow into a steady, gently laugh. 

   "Want a hit?" Connor offered, already knowing the answer, but wanting to ask anyway. 

   "No th-thank you," Evan's gentle laugh slowly calmed to a regular smile, which Connor rather enjoyed to see. "My D.A.R.E officer warned me about people like you." The brunette scoffed with no real heat. 

   "People like me?" He asked, intentionally over exaggerating his response. "Who are 'people like me'?" 

   "You know, p-pretty people who coax you into thinking that smoking drugs is c-cool." Evan let his words flow out of his mouth, not putting much thought into what he said. "I-I mean, you don't- you don't try to persuade me to smoke drugs, but-but the whole 'chill vibe' that you give off when you do it is kind of like that? Kind of?" 

   Silent laughter escaped the taller teen's lips, reminding Evan of his hopeless crush on the boy. 

   The world really was unfair. 

   He was distracted by his own infatuation with the brunette that he had completely spaced out, only hearing the second half of Connor's complaint and seeing him take another hit from his vape pen and exhaling it in the same way he had earlier, but in a much more organized way.

   "S-Sorry, what did you say?" Evan asked, wrinkling his nose as the wave of artificial fruit blew in his direction. He watched his friend turn off the device in his hand and turn back to him, now leaning in closer to where their shoulders we just about touching. 

   "I said that I'd like to ditch this hellhole and go to the orchard." Connor spoke in a quieter voice than he had earlier, tired eyes meeting his own. " 'You in?" 

   Once again, Evan felt the warmth return to his neck.

_did you just whisper in her ear?  
words she only dreamed to hear?_

   "Connor, I can't just, _skip school._ " The blonde answered with furrowed, slightly frustrated brows. "I-I need to keep up my grades and my attendance for college a-and scholarships."

   The said boy huffed, though he had already been expecting this answer. 

   "A-After school we can go?" He asked, knowing that the whole point of this was to leave school and not for the orchard. "I mean, I walked to school today so I can't really drive us or anything, and I know that you came with Zoe so I'm not sure if she- um- has band practice or anything today," He rambled, but being cut off by Connor's stare.

   "Bold of you to assume that I can wait that long." The taller teen joked with a soft chuckle. "Zoe can find another way home; I just want to be somewhere, y'know? Just, not here..." Evan nodded, tracing the large green letters that occupied his cast. 

   "I'll drive us." Connor stated, shuffling around and positioning himself to stand, then doing so. He stretched his arms up as well as stretching his legs, cracking his back and knuckles out of pure habit. Evan followed soon after, dusting off his pants before following suit. The slightly unsettling sounds of their joints combined, causing the two teens to laugh quietly together. 

   Evan cursed at himself as he chose to look at brunette's face as he laughed, watching as the wrinkles at the corner of his eyes formed once again, completely distracting him from the obvious, and mildly concerning, large eye bags that hung below. 

   His smile was almost emphasized by the laugh lines that basically circled his mouth, and it melted Evan's fragile heart to hear the deep, throaty laugh that escaped his thin lips. 

   Honest to God, Evan would stare at Connor for hours if he were given the opportunity. He almost hated how obsessed he was with his best friend. 

__

_pretty lady,  
look at how he's smiling,_

   He felt his mouth go dry as Connor looked straight back at him, smile still remaining on his face and making Evan's heartbeat speed ever-so-slightly, again.

__

_i think he likes you!_

__

__  


"Let's pack up; the bell is probably going to ring soon." Evan was knocked out of his thoughts by his friend's voice. The blonde watched as Connor started with folding the towel that they were sitting on, doing it quickly and quietly.

   "R-Right." He agreed, starting to gather up the empty Tupperware containers and shoving it back into the lunchbox, putting no effort into organizing it. 

   "Any messier that that might as well be your locker." The brunette commented as he shoved the folded towel into Evan's backyard, zipping it up carefully after. 

   "Y-Y'know, I should report you for bullying," Evan joked, placing his metal lunchbox under his casted arm as he reached for the backpack that was still remained the ground. Connor quickly leaned down to pick up the bag, saving the the shorter senior's effort. Evan muttered a silent thanks. 

   "You could, but you won't." Connor wore a thin smile as the blonde shuffled his arm through the thick straps of the bag and getting a decent grip onto the said straps. 

   "You're right, I-I'm too nice." Evan wore a cocky grin, snickering silently at his own words. Connor paused for a second before giving the shorter boy a friendly shove. 

   "Sure you are." The taller one spoke, sarcasm laying heavy in his voice as his eyes narrowed jokingly.

      As if on cue, the school bell rang loudly, alerting the students that their next class would start in ten minutes. 

   "We should- um- we should head to class now." The casted teen spoke up, anxiously rubbing at the textured straps of his backpack. 

   "Yeah, okay," Connor nodded, clicking his tongue. "See you after school then." He glanced at the blonde boy for a second before starting his trek to his class. 

   Evan stood in place, watching as Connor started walking and hadn't bothered to look back. He looked down at his cast, reminded that it would be getting removed during the following weekend. 

   The thought made him more sad than overjoyed, realizing that Connor's name, which had been residing on his arm for nearly two months, would be gone. 

   Of course he knew that his cast didn't affect their friendship, but it made him smile getting to see his best friend's (and hopeless crush's) name written across a part of him.

_and it's too late,  
you believe in fate_

   Evan rubbing his eyes with his open hand, sighing at his own stupid little dilemma that he had wound up into.

   It was hardly his fault for falling for a pretty boy. Anyone would have if they had even caught a glimpse of Connor. Hell, he was shocked that he wasn't in a relationship already. Well, actually, he wasn't quite surprised after a deep and bitter conversation about the severity of their mental health issues. 

   But still, you had to be blind to not fall head over heels for the Murphy boy, and right now, Evan really did wish he was. 

   In attempt to shake away those thoughts of Connor, he was only being given more, frustrating him tenfold. 

   "I'm so _screwed_." Evan mumbled, finally letting his legs take him to his upcoming class. His pace quickened as his anxiety reminded him that if he walked any slower, he'd be late. 

   Damn Connor Murphy with his mysterious,  closed-book personality and his charming looks and gorgeous laugh.

   ...

   God, he really was screwed.

_you're absolutely smitten,  
you'll never let her go_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh, i hope y'all enjoyed chapter 2?? 
> 
> skjfkjfjdhd don't forget to comment if anything caught your eye!! love y'all!!♡♡


	3. he's absolutely smitten, he'll never let you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this is so extremely late and im incredibly sorry but a ton of stuff has happened in the past few months and i've been busy af. 
> 
> i hope you enjoy the (probably) last installment of this fic, and thank you for reading!♡

   Evan wasn't nervous. No, not at all! 

   Maybe Evan could hide away in the Environmental Club room for a few minutes before meeting up with Connor? No, Connor already knew that the club was taking a short break, which was completely unnecessary. (Which Evan had stated in his daily rant-ramble a few days back)

   Hiding would do him no good, and neither would avoiding. 

   His brain was being unfair, in his honest opinion. 

   Having a crush on his only/best friend was an absolute pain. The constant fear that, in the unlikely case they get together, they would break up and become distant. Also his other hundreds of worries that he'd rather not think about right now

   The blonde sat in his last class, anxiously tapping his foot on the ground, his well-worn New Balance shoes barely making any noise that could be heard over the obnoxious conversations of the two seniors in front of him. 

   It was pathetic of him to be this worried over something that the two of them did regularly. There was nothing different about this time like there was the last. 

   Well, perhaps it might be different than the last time, two weeks ago. That late afternoon they spent together in the orchard completely opened his eyes to Connor Murphy, making him then realize his massive, and inconveniencing, crush.

   The damned sunlight that streamed through the branches and leaves of the overly fruitful apple tree. It shined so perfectly on the brunette's head, appearing as a crown of light on his curly locks. He laid on his stomach, outlining a scenic view on one of his newest sketch pads, completely oblivious to how perfect and divine he had appeared. 

 

   The bell rung loudly, notifying the students that their class had finished. Most of his peers were visibly excited as they grabbed their bag as soon as they could and practically raced out the door. 

   As usual, Evan was generally one of the last ones out, hating the idea of pushing around people just to leave the room that he could easily get out with no issues a minute later. He would much rather reserve the running and pushing in the case of an emergency. 

   The blonde shuffled out of the room with his open hand on the thick strap of his backpack. He headed in the direction of his locker as if he were on auto-pilot, steering through the flock of teenagers that loitered and walked the halls.

   The lingering anxiety remained as he continued his trek, subconsciously rubbing his hand on the textured strap, not noticing or caring if his skin became irritated. 

   He hated to admit that he was dreading the orchard visit. 

 

   "Hey, Acorn!" Evan winced, hearing the obnoxious sound of his family friend. Jared sauntered towards the casted boy, not seeming to mind the squeaking of his new shoes on the vinyl tiles. 

   The blonde was suddenly very thankful for all of the times that he and Connor had spent at the school, specifically the times that Jared hadn't interrupted or rudely joined. The said annoying boy stopped in front of Evan; a cocky smile resting upon his lips, though quite obviously forced. 

   "What do you want, Jared?" Evan huffed, letting his hand rub on the strap of his bag again, frustrated that he wasn't, at least, at his locker already. The brunette's brows furrowed, obviously confused. 

   "Does there always have to be something I want?" The glasses-bearing teen asked, feigning offense. "Can I not just talk to my friend at school like buddies do? Pals? _Amigos?_ " 

   The blonde had an overwhelming urge to roll his eyes in aggravation and annoyance. Instead, he only sighed loudly, only looking more disappointed, breaking Jared's cocky guise. Jared visibly faltered before grasping at the remaining artificial confidence. 

   "Fine- alright- my mom hasn't had you over in a while and God knows that I don't speak to her about you." The brunette over-enunciating his tensed shoulders with a sharp inhale through his teeth. "She's thinking that I've finally ditched you, and I _really_ don't want to start paying for my own car insurance." 

   Evan's only response was an irritated stare. Granted, it hadn't been much, but enough to break Jared down just a little bit more, which he was extremely proud of and ready to tell Connor about. 

   "So, after school I can drive you to my place. We can hang for a few hours; you can do homework and shit while I play on my Switch. It'll be like old times." The brunette stated clearly, following as Evan slowly started his walk to his locker once again. 

   "A-Actually, I have plans after school today," The blonde smiled as he glanced at the ground before looking at Jared. He watched as the boy's expression turned from doubt to confusion. 

   "You? Plans?" He scoffed. "Yeah, no, you don't have therapy on Tuesdays. _That_ I remember." Jared smiled confidently, shoving his hands into the pockets of his khaki shorts. 

   "Yes, in fact, I do." Evan's eyebrows furrowed, now feeling a little offended. It wasn't the first time that Jared downplayed and scoffed at his "plans". Sure they were sparse, but they were something. 

   "Really?" A single brow rose, as if Jared was, yet again, testing the waters and pushing Evan off the edge. "With who? Your _boyfriend_?" He teased, watching Evan's freckled face turn a peachy-pink in embarrassment. 

   "N-No, Connor is not my boyfriend," The blonde's words gradually began to pour out of his mouth. "Never have been, never will." He rushed, quickening his pace and frustratingly watching Jared keep up. 

   "Seriously? You and Mister 'I Smoke Cigarettes During Free Period' are still hanging out?" The glasses-wearing teen sighed in what sounded like a mix of pity and embarrassment. "Man, I thought he would've ditched your ass after the whole cast situation."

   Evan glanced down at his cast, eyes tracing over the bold lines of the capital letters sprawled across his forearm. 

   "Y-Yeah, we are," Evan spoke, "Hanging out, i mean, after school. 'Hanging out after school today." He rushed before huffing silently to himself. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jared, bye." Evan said, ducking his head down and beginning his even faster pace that he did not enjoy doing. 

   He knew that Jared wouldn't be _that_ determined to actually chase after him just to go over to his family's house. 

   After speed walking for a good minute or so, Evan bumped into a tall figure, internally screaming at the fact that he'd have to face another social interaction. The blonde student took a deep breath before facing up to the person he ran into, eyes widening to see the very person he was dreading to meet. 

   "H-Hey Connor," Evan nervously forced a laugh, rubbing his thumbs on the rough texture of his backpack straps. "How was- uh- how was class?" He asked, feeling his heart beating faster. 

   The taller boy chuckled at Evan's nervous attitude.

   "It was shit, but what's new?" He answered. "Should we head to the car now?" Connor asked, tapping the pads of his fingers on the deep black materials of his pants in an unsteady, unplanned beat. 

   The blonde nodded before stopping himself in his tracks. 

   "Sorry, n-not yet, i need to get my stuff from my locker." He said, watching as Connor took initiative and began walking to Evan's locker. The shorter teen quickly followed suit, silently and closely trailing behind like a shadow. The two stopped in front of the blue metal lockers, Evan rushed to open the lock, huffing quietly when getting the number sequence wrong. 

   The brunette noticed him struggling and waiting until his hands had finally ditched the lock, giving up in frustration. He raised a brow, almost as if he were asking if his friend needed help. Evan noticed it almost immediately, replying with only a single nod and a sigh of shame. 

   With a silent chuckle, Connor input the code and undid the metal lock in under half a minute. 

   "I still don't know how you got my combination," The blonde murmured, quickly setting his backpack onto the ground and retrieving the books and binders from the storage space, slipping them into the designated parts of the bag. 

   "A magician never reveals his secrets." Connor snarkily stated with obvious intended humor in his voice. Evan nearly rolled his eyes as he gently closed the locker door, backing up slightly and staring straight back at Connor. 

   "A- uh- real magician you are," The shorter of the two began, trying to hide a small giggle from escaping. "The only tricks I've ever seen you do was with your vape pen." He joked, grinning from cheek-to-cheek as releasing a flood of giggles as of that was the funniest thing he had heard all week. 

   "Still better than Jared's attempt at close-up magic." The brunette stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, shoving his hands into his front pockets with his thumb hanging out of the pocketed fabric.

   Evan chuckled, remembering the poor attempt of card tricks that Jared had done for them the previous week. Although he had the basics down, the presentation was insanely sloppy and all of the cards nearly flew out of his hands. 

   "Anything is better then those 'card tricks'." The blonde laughed slightly harder, resulting in him making an unappealing snort after the string of laughter. The joyful noises from his mouth ceased immediately as his hands flew to cover his mouth.

   The sudden sound startled Connor for a second, though he returned to his low laugh in remembrance of their friend's horrid magic tricks. 

   In attempt to move on in their day, Evan swooped down and zipped his backpack before picking it up and slipping his arms through the straps. 

   "I-I'm ready." The shorter of the duo's voice cracked, causing his face to grow pink. He ducked his head so it would be out of sight for his tall friend. "Let's go."

   Connor noted Evan's discomfort, furrowing his brows slightly and sighed. 

   "Alright." He spoke with a smile in his voice, slowly starting up his walk and watching as the blonde walked right beside him, head down. 

   People still generally avoided Connor in school, even though his behavior was visibly getting better. Getting through the hall was easy as most of the students avoided him, making a clear path for him and Evan to get through. 

   It didn't take very long for them to get outside and to arrive at Connor's car. 

   It was a nice model, to say the least. It was a fairly new Honda Civic, but the weathered seats would say that it was at least ten years old and counting. The sleek, grey car had its fair share of dents here and there, but nothing so large that is was eye-catching or concerning. 

   In the blink of an eye, Connor had slipped into his car and was waiting for the blonde teen, who was obviously lost within his own thoughts. 

   "Ready when you are." The brunette announce from inside the vehicle, slightly muffled from the windows remaining closed. 

   Evan blinked out of his daydream and hurriedly opened the car door and slid in, removing his backpack at the same time then plopping it into the open space by his feet.

   As if on cue, Connor started up the car, flipping on the radio and opening the windows. He quickly, and carefully, reversed out of the stall and drove out of the school property. 

   The drive to the orchard was quite boring. Connor flipped on the radio as soon as the school was out of sight, it playing one of the top fourty hits of the season that he had never actually heard before. He glanced over to Evan every minute or so, watching as he began nod his head to the beat before dozing off. It still amazed Connor that, with all of the potholes, Evan remained asleep. 

   The brunette sighed softly as his eyes set on the sleeping boy, thankful that they were at a stop light and that the blonde miraculously did stay unconscious. Scratch going to À La Mode with Evan. Even if he did have a craving for birthday cake ice cream, he wouldn't dare wake up Evan for his own gain. 

   Connor knowingly gnawed at the wall of his cheek, unphased by the uncomfortable sensation, obviously having done that for so long. The feeling of hesitation arose in the tall boy, tentatively raising his arm and gently tapping the blonde. 

   Although he knew that something so soft wouldn't work, he tried it again, not wanting to be too harsh. The only result in that was a little nose twitch. 

   The darkly-dressed boy gave up on the gentle attempts, now nudging the shorter boy's arm to wake him. Thankfully, he showed more of a reaction, squirming a bit in place from the physical contact before sluggishly opening his eyes. 

   Evan glanced around for a second, suddenly very aware of his surroundings. 

   The boy almost began to panic until Connor set a hand on his casted arm, subconsciously rubbing his thumb on the hardened material. 

   "S-Sorry, um, h-how long was I asleep for?" He asked with worry clear in his voice. 

   "Not that long," Connor answered, unbuckling his seat belt and watching as the belt portion of it snapped back into the holder. "'Just the whole car ride." He continued with a small snarky smile.

   Honestly, he didn't mind that Evan had fallen asleep during the ride. He enjoyed the silence, in comparison to when he and his family traveled in one car. They've had far too many arguments in the automobile, and that was the sole motivation for Connor to get his driver's license as early as possible. 

   The blonde nodded his head as he rushed to take off his own seat belt, flinching when it snapped back into the holder.

   "Y'okay?" Connor asked, furrowed brows as he leaned forward, adjusting his shoes. Evan only nodded in response. "Alright." The brunette mumbled, sitting up straight in the seat before opening the door and slipping out swiftly, watching as Evan had done the same, both abandoning their school bags in the attractive vehicle.

   Evan quickly joined the brunette's side as he approached the long, wire fence that had been set up to keep people out of the orchard. Unfortunately, it had no effect on Connor, who owned wire cutters and cared very little about rules like that. Furthur down, there was a large hole in the rusting fence that Connor had created earlier in the year. 

   The taller boy lead the way as always, easily slipping through the hole he cut, looking back in pride. He watched as the smaller boy followed suit, hand gently cradling his cast. 

   "Is this illegal?" The blonde boy asked, walking to Connor's side where he had waited for him. Connor chuckled. 

   "You ask that every time," He replied, leading once again. "And yeah, it probaby is." The brunette grinned, picking up his pace, watching Evan's face drop as he realized that he'd have to speed up as well. 

   "I can't believe I dodged smoking drugs, but not committing crime." The shorter teen grumbled, jogging to keep up with his taller friend. 

   "Hey, didn't I tell you that I'd be a bad influence?" Connor teased. "And it seems like you're not listening to your fifth-grade D.A.R.E officer." He continued, snickering as he saw Evan stick his tongue out at him.

   "First of all, you never warned me about that," The blonde boy began. "And-And second, I had my D.A.R.E. officer in the fourth-grade." Evan huffed, noticing that Connor was slowing down slightly, allowing him to do so as well. 

   Eventually, the two of them slowed to a stop in their usual area. It was a pretty distinct part of the orchard, in Connor's opinion. It was just a minute or so away from the creek where he and his family had used to have picnics.

   The place they were currently in, where Evan had stated was his favorite part of the orchard (hence why that was their usual spot), was fairly identical to every other resting spot in the large property. It had a few wooden tables and benches near the roots of the trees, and the large branches provides more than enough shade. 

 

   Connor didn't see how this spot was any different than the others, and Evan wouldn't give him an actual answer for every time he had asked. In time, he gave up, though still hoping that Evan would explain to him why this particular spot was his favorite. 

   The sound of Evan catching his breath softened to a regular breathing pattern, causing the taller of the duo to turn around. Connor smiled as he saw Evan taking in the sight of the trees surrounding them. 

   It was like this every time. Evan would be absolutely mesmerized by the flora around them, and Connor would be completely oblivious to his surroundings and only be focused on Evan. 

 

   Connor hadn't expected to fall so hard for this boy.

 

   It was funny how it had happened.

 

   He was an ass to him the first day of school with a half-assed apology, but for some reason he kept on interacting with the boy. He thanked whichever god was out there that their classes were always near each other's, despite their lockers being so far apart. 

   They had only met at the oak tree for lunch by coincidence, but that coincidence bloomed into a strong friendship with only five weeks. 

   Connor truly hated feeling like a stereotypical teenage girl with a crush on her best friend. It wasn't fair that he had to end up falling for the only boy who sincerely believed that he was getting better, and not the same second-grader who tried to throw the printer at Mrs. G. 

   The only person in his life who consistently encouraged him and praised him for his attempts at getting better who wasn't some shitty therapist that his father paid for. 

   The only person who noticed him easing off of the Marlboros and trying to use a healthier alternative instead.

   The only person who he truly felt comfortable enough with to tell his sad story. 

   And the only person he had ever had a real crush on. 

   It crushed Connor to know that he could lose his best friend to this stupid, hormone-induced crush. He knew Evan liked girls, and that's all he needed to know. Evan Hansen, the boy he undoubtedly likes, prefers girls. Connor would recite it to himself as often as he was alone, trying to engrave it into his head that his best friend wouldn't reciprocate those feelings, but the feelings only grew stronger. 

   He'd forcibly imagine Evan holding hands, smiling, kissing a girl, and being happy, but his hopeful thoughts would always replace the girl with himself. And he hated it. 

  He didn't know how he convinced himself that bringing Evan here again, to his favorite spot, would be a good idea. It had been a couple weeks since they had been here, and Connor wondered if Evan was finally bored with the place, but looking at Evan's awestruck face clearly explained that he had clearly missed it. 

   Connor's hand moved up to his clothed arm and began to scratch lightly at it, feeling slightly anxious, averting his eyes to the ground. 

   Evan turned his head back to his usually calm and collected friend, seeing his expression and bodily movements grow tense. 

   "C-Connor, are you okay?" The blonde asked, a slight, almost unnoticeable head tilt as he spoke. The brunette nodded and coughed roughly.

   "Yeah, don't worry about it." He answered. The taller boy began walking to the largest tree around them without forewarning. Evan followed right behind him, sitting down at the base of the tree with his knees to his chest. 

   Connor didn't sit beside him, but leaned on the body of the large apple tree, his body language still saying that he was uncomfortable.

   "T-Tell me something that I don't know about you." Evan broke the short, pregnant silence, feeling the uncomfortable tension begin to rise. The corner of Connor's mouth perked upward in response. Evan took that as a reward.

   "I think I've already told you as much as I can." The brunette stated, crossing his arms as he usually does. 

  "Impossible." Evan stated loudly, nearly startling both himself and his best friend. "I-I didn't know that you liked Pokémon, so there's definitely things that I don't know." The words poured out of his mouth, unintentionally slurring his words here and there.

   The tall brunette huffed again, proud of the way that Evan had spoken. 

   "I can't just say something off of the top of my head, Evan." Connor sighed. "You know what? 'Twenty Questions'. Let's do that." The tall boy shuffled closer to Evan, still standing at a foot away from him, but being able to look almost directly down on him. 

   Releasing his legs from the hold against his chest, the blonde boy extended his legs slightly  "A-Alright, you start." He replied, staring up at the boy above him. 

   "Me?" Connor asked in false shock, over exaggerating, grinning to see the smile forming on his friend's face. "Okay then, _question one_ ," Connor paused for a second to think of a generic question, but something that he would definitely like to know for future reference. "What's the worst thing you've ever tasted?" 

   The question put Evan into deep thought for a moment, staring at the ground to think, then breaking focus and looking back up to his best friend. "Cough medicine?" He answered, though sounding much more like a question than anything else. "A-Actually, I really dislike most medicines." The blonde continued, "'You?"

   The tall boy hummed, obviously already having his answer on the tip of his tongue. "Pears. I hate them." He answered clearly, stating it out loud as if there were multiple people beside them. 

   "Pears?" Evan repeated, "But don't you like apples?" The smaller of the two looked genuinely confused. 

   Connor nodded, readjusting his arms to cross over each other in a more comfortable position, slowly sliding down the bark of the tree slowly until he was crouching. "Yeah, 'love them." 

   "But apples and pears taste the same?" Evan stated, nearly losing himself to his own crowded, confused thoughts. 

   The brunette shook his head, appearing to be slightly offended at the short remark. "No, they don't. Absolutely not." He answered, a smug little look rested on his face, as if he were excited to get into a little argument with his best friend.  

   "But they are!" Evan's brows furrowed as he took a second to think about the taste of the succulent fruit. "They taste exactly the same!"

   "No? They don't? Pears are _awful_. They're so bitter and dry and disgusting." 

   The two boys began their mildly heated argument, eventually easing out of it after Evan had mentioned that they had different tastebuds and not everything would taste the same to them, but Connor had the last word, giving his opinion once again. They had a pause between their conversation before it picked up again, moving onto the next questions. 

   Favorite Pokémon, first Halloween costume, and childhood stuffed animals were only a few of the many questions asked. 

   It took a while, but they eventually got to question sixteen.

    Connor bit his tongue for a second before speaking. "Have you ever stuck a lollipop in your mouth and, like, just began to crunch down on it?" He asked, now completely sitting on the ground beside the blonde, back leaning against the rough patch of bark on the tree. 

   Evan faltered in that second, looking confused then vaguely concerned. "No, d-do you?" He asked, sounding even more concerned with the wellbeing of his friend. 

   The taller boy paused, almost looking frozen before he spoke. "Maybe." He answered, his single word drawn out in awkward silence. "Your turn."

   Evan nodded, thankful that he already knew what question he was going to ask next. "Your first childhood crush?" 

   Although it seemed really cliché, the blonde genuinely wanted to know more about Connor when he was younger. 

   "David Henrie."

   "What?"

   "David Henrie. The guy from 'Wizards of Waverly Place'."

   "No, no, I know who he is." Evan nodded, as if his verbal confirmation wasn't enough. His face flushed, now finally realizing who Connor had answered with. 

   "You?" Connor asked, scratching at a small sliver of revealed skin on his arm, slightly tense.

   "Huh?"

   "Who was your childhood crush?" 

   The blonde paused for a second, still processing the information he was given. He hesitated, toying with the loose threads of the hem of his shirt once again. 

   "Um, I don't remember the name, but do you remember the 'Minutemen' movie?" He asked, watching Connor expression grow confused, then doubtful.

   "Chelsea Kane. I knew it." The brunette mumbled to himself, loud enough for Evan to hear.  

   "No, no, not her." 

   "Kara Crane?" 

   Evan was entertained by Connor's genuine confusion, nearly feeling bad for his friends heteronormative answers. 

   "Not the-the girls." Evan could see the shock on Connor's face, before turning his head, completely hiding his surprised grin from the blonde. 

   The little sliver of hope shot through his veins and straight to his heart, giving him more confidence in what he really wanted to do. 

   Later, he decided. 

   "Don't tell me that it's Jason Dolley. I swear to God, if you had a crush on someone named 'Virgil' I will gouge my eyes out with the nearest stick I find on the ground."

   That earned a laugh from the blonde, letting Connor feel some blood rush to his face. 

   "No, it wasn't him either!" He laughed, clutching his stomach as if that'd help him calm down at all. "He gave off weird older brother vibes. Not my type." 

   "Alright then," Connor nodded, thinking back to who else acted in the movie. "Luke Benward? He was basically a fetus in that movie, but he was kind of cute?" He made a face, obvious displeasure in his answer.

   "No, not him." Evan snickered, covering his half smile with his hands. "How do you know all of their names? I only remembered Jason Dolley because he was in the other Disney show."

   "That's not important." He shooed away that idea. "Do you have the faintest idea who it was?" 

   "It was the tall one!" Evan said as if it were obvious. "The tall, emo one who always did stuff in the dump with his wieldy-thing!" 

   "You had a crush on Nicholas Braun?" He asked incredulously. "Okay, Luke Benward and Jason Dolley are acceptable. Nicholas Braun is an uncomfortably tall rat man. He is not valid." 

   "He was cute and tall! That's practically my type!" 

   "He's like, six foot five, that's terrifying." Connor insisted, almost jokingly poking fun at the actor, just to watch Evan get riled up again. "I'm six feet tall, Ev, he has five inches on me. And you're, like, five-two?"

   "I'm literally five foot eight." 

   "He's a giant compared to you, Ev. You should settle for someone a bit shorter than that." He halfheartedly joked. 

   "M-Maybe I should set the limit at six feet then?" Evan asked, glancing back at Connor, watching as his face flushed just a bit more than earlier.  "A-Anyway, Nicholas Braun was cute in 'Sky High' and 'Princess Protection Program' too." He spoke with eyes diverting. 

   Connor nearly swore at himself for looking so embarrassed in front of Evan. Before he could say anything else, Evan stood from his place at the tree stump. The blonde extended his arms up, stretching with a yawn before setting his arms back to his side, staring forward at the abundance of trees ahead of him. 

   "I've never told you why this was my favorite spot, right?"  The blonde asked, scratching his arm right above where his cast was placed, feeling the uncomfortable sweat under the hardened shell. 

   "I've been asking." Connor replied with a chuckle that sounded more like a huff than anything. He stood up from where he was and walked a bit towards Evan, still giving him more than enough space if he decided to turn back to face him. "Finally up to telling me?" He asked, almost jokingly. 

   "Oh, y-yeah, sure." He stumbled over his words, glancing down to the reddish-brown dirt below his dirtied white shoes, still scratching at his arm. "It's- um- it's not a big deal, really." He continued, hand moving to scratch behind his neck in discomfort. 

   "That's an opinion." Connor commented, taking a step closer. 

   "It's just the first place we hung out here th-the first time you brought me here." Evan answered, biting his cheek. "It's kind of a dumb reason? I mean, the whole place pretty much looks like same, but I guess I'm just really sentimental and stuff?" He turned around, facing the brunette again. 

 

   Connor watched as Evan rambled on, clearly trying to take the attention away from the topic of why this area was his favorite. The reason made Connor's heart skip a beat, knowing that _he_ was the reason why this place was his favorite.  

  Evan was distracted in his own thoughts, making this the best and worst time for Connor to do what he has wanted to for weeks. 

   _Fuck it._

   "I mean, if course you'd get sentimental over something that a relative who died would give you right? It just means a lot more because they're gone and-"

_and it's too late,  
i believe in fate_

   Connor pulled Evan into the kiss. Something that he had been craving for so much longer than he would ever admit. His hands cradled Evan's jaw and cheeks, carefully as if he were holding a porcelain doll.

   And his lips, _God_ , his lips were heavenly. So surprisingly soft despite him biting them so often. 

   He felt Evan tense, then relax within the few seconds that he was holding him, not kissing back, not daring to move. 

   Connor pulled back, only retracting his hands a second later after watching Evan's shocked face being cradled between his hands. As much as he would like to disagree, he thought that Evan's face fit perfectly in his palms. 

   A soft gasp escaped Evan's lips, visibly still in shock as Connor took a step backwards. 

   "Fuck, I'm so sorry." Connor spurted out, shoving his hands into the pockets of his worn out jeans. 

   A series of "No"s and other various stutters spewed out of Evan's mouth. 

   "It's-It's okay! It's good!" He managed to say.

   "No, it's really not." The brunette stated, feeling his legs beneath him begin to tremble, desperately wanting to run in the other direction and away from this situation, but his legs wouldn't allow him. "I just- _fucking hell_ \- I kissed you, Evan, without warning or consent, or any of that shit."

   "It-It was good!" Evan stressed on his words, not sure whether or not he'd start to get lightheaded. 

   "No, not for you. I kissed you, and-and that's _not_ what friends do."

   "But I enjoyed it!"

   "No, you didn't, Evan. Please stop saying this to make me feel better."

   Defeat was strong in his voice, turning his head down to the dirt patch that he was standing in.

   "I fucked up, and I totally understand if you don't want to be friends anymore, because who in their right mind would just _kiss their friend_?"

   "C-Connor, please," Evan pleaded, cautiously stepping closer to the tall boy.

   "Evan, I get it, and I'll leave you alone if that's what you want."

   "Connor, _please_ , listen to me." 

   "I know, Evan, I'm disgusting and I'm an awful friend who doesn't respect boundaries or consent-"

   "Connor!" Evan shouted, arms reaching upward and holding the brunette's startled, and slightly scared, face, slightly squishing it in the process. "You are such an _idiot_."

   "I know." Connor weakly responded, voice almost wavering as he looked straight back at Evan. His eyes were glossed over with the tears and the fear in his eyes struck Evan on a personal level.

   "You are so _stupid_ , and I like you so Goddamn much, and you're just so _dumb_ to not realize that." Evan practically recited, keeping his grip on Connor's face.

   "What?" Connor breathed out, his expression filled with confusion and regret.

   "I'm..." He hesitated, staring at the brunette's lips for long enough to know what he was to do next. "I'm not sorry." Evan muttered, tilting his head upward as he pulled Connor down, encasing his lips in a kiss, nearly mimicking the (dreadfully) short kiss they had shared just moments ago. As if mirroring what had happened earlier, Connor tensed before relaxing into it, barely having enough time to kiss the blonde boy back.

   The blonde pulled back for a moment, meeting Connor's slightly more surprised expression now.

   "I like you." Evan stated, slowly releasing his grip from Connor's face, lowering his hands.

   "As a friend?" Connor asked, nearly joking as he cracked the tiniest smile. Playfully, Evan slapped his shoulder, cracking a tiny smile as well.

   "I thought you said that friends don't kiss each other?" Evan whispered, a quiet laugh escaping his lips.

   "Well, I suppose not." Connor mumbled, glancing down at Evan's lips before looking back his eyes.

   "Connor, I like you. Like, _like_ like you." Evan chuckled. "God, sorry, that sounds so childish."

   "No, don't apologize," Connor said, a little huff-laugh coming from his lips. "I like you too. Like, _like_ like." He spoke, his arms rising slightly to Evan's waist, as if they were magnetically drawn there. 

   The blonde wore a lop sided grin. 

   "Question eighteen," Connor said, in a quieted voice. "Would you go on a date with me?" Evan had nodded with a trail of quiet laughter following suit. He eyed out the taller teen in front of him, biting his lip. 

   "Question nineteen," The blonde asked, feeling the rush of confidence push him a bit closer to Connor. "Would you kiss me?" Without spoken words, Connor leaned down to kiss Evan, letting his hands rest on his waist. Evan, in return, tilted his head (as he'd seen in movies) and kissed the brunette back, cupping on cheek with his uncasted palm and closing his eyes. 

   The two separated from their lip-lock, hands staying resting in place and their eyes staring into each other's. They were nearly pressed against eachother, not that they would complain.

   Connor smiled.

 

   "Question twenty: Kiss me again?"

_i'm absolutely smitten,  
i'll never let you go_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's the end!! 
> 
> sorry the it was super long and rlly rushed! i knew that i didn't want to delete any parts, so i tried to make it a little shorter at the end ;; regardless, i hope you enjoyed!!♡

**Author's Note:**

> bls comment if you have literally anything to say!! anything you want to point out or if anything made you smile?? comment!! 
> 
> i live off of validation ♡


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